Boring! Who in their right mind would take a holiday in the Vosges mountain range? There’s nothing there. Just some hills, half-forgotten villages with German-sounding names and French people speaking some sort of unintelligible French – or is it German? They do have Flammkuchen but isn’t that just some poor man’s version of a pizza? But then Phil, mastermind and curator of the Wildhood Cycling Club, called and asked if I wanted to join him on a bikepacking trip through exactly those Vosges mountains, something called the Traversée du Massif des Vosges or, in short, the TMV. I just said yes, without thinking too much about it and really not knowing what to expect but always ready to head out for an adventure.

The Vosges mountains couldn’t be that bad, could they? And I had been wanting to go on a long bikepacking trip, especially now that this Corona-summer had put a stop to any other plans I had. Not that I had never gone bikepacking, but always some short weekend trips and never really into the wild which I imagined those Vosges mountains surely must be.

Let’s check this out. Bikepacking.com says “the TMV rises from Wissembourg near the German border, traveling south through three distinct zones of the Vosges Mountains, ending in Thann” connecting “mostly unpaved forest roads, some pavement, and a few brief moments of narrow trail. While fitness is necessary for daily climbs and descents, the route is entirely rideable, even with a camping load”. That sounds quite okay, does it not? I’m fit enough. Will it not just be like any other gravel ride, just stretched in time? But then the nerves started kicking in when I looked at the numbers: 430 kilometers in about 7 days. The Rapha Festive 500 had been done in the cold and the rain and drunk on wine from Christmas eve, so 430 kilometers in 7 days must be peanuts! But wait what, nearly 10000 meters of elevation gain, that’s about 1500 meters of climbing every single day. It may not seem a lot to some of you but it sure did to me. That’s a whole lot of climbing, with a packed bike, on some rough gravel roads… Phil will have to wait at every climb! He’s going to curse the day he asked me to join him…

It all starts in the middle of July, in the middle of the day, at a Wissembourg parking lot, next to the former Benedictine abbey church. Once our bikes have been loaded with our assorted bags and panniers and we got changed into our cycling kits, we set off on our adventure! Leaving Wissembourg, the route takes us over some rolling hills and through some forests towards the castle of Fleckenstein. Once passed the castle, the first steep descent takes us further in the forest, and farther away from civilization. The ride goes quite smoothly, that is until the first climb makes me gasp for breath. Wow, that was steep, was it not? I need a minute to catch my breath, have a drink, have a snack and basically come back alive. But the first climb is done and dusted. The following climbs can hardly be that much steeper, can they?

Finally, we arrive at Niederbronn-les-Bains which means Oberbronn – where we’ll be camping that first night – can’t be that far away, except that “Ober” means above and “Nieder” below…will we have to climb up towards Oberbronn? And yes, as soon as we find our way out of the maze of streets that make up Niederbronn, the route takes us back into a hilly forest area where the guys from TMV decided we should take the steep MTB route towards the camping spot. It can’t be that hard, can it? That hill does not look that high, and not steeper than the previous climb. Anyway, whining never got anybody over a hill so you just have to start pedaling, not think too much about it and just focus on that one tree that’s lurking above you. If you can just make it to that tree, you’ll be halfway, not? At least, that’s what I tell myself. I have no idea how long this climb will be. And then one tree becomes another tree and still another and yet another tree. The route winds and twists itself up towards the skies and all you can do is follow its path. Sometimes you want to give up and just hike-a-bike. But hey, it’s a bikepacking trip and, let’s not forget, it’s still only the first day, so no hike-a-bike today. So you keep pushing yourself up that hill. I have lost sight of Phil some time ago. He is racing like a squirrel on speed up that hill. But I know he’ll be waiting for me on top of that hill and as soon as I will catch sight of him, I know I will have made it. But he’s not in view just yet.

The forest roads give way to some rougher gravel, but I do believe I can see the sky again, which can only mean one thing: the end is near! But I fear that was only wishful thinking. This gravel road keeps on twisting and turning up. It must end somewhere, not? And then, just like that – and finally – the last turn and there is Phil waiting for me. What a happy sight! Just a last push and I make to the summit. All in all it was not that bad. You do get used to pushing that heavily loaded bike up those hills. Little do I know that’s only the precursor to lots more climbs to come. From there on, it’s only downhill towards Oberbronn and the campsite.

The next day, wet get going at around 8am, with a slight hunger, breakfast having been limited to dry crackers, as all the shops were closed when we arrived in the village late last night, as well as the campsite store due to the health crisis the world is facing at that time. It seems as every stage of the TMV starts with a heavy climb, which leaves you gasping for breath before you’re even awake, making you wonder what the hell you were thinking taking on this challenge! You could have been on a beach in the South of France or sipping wine on some Piazza in the Tuscan hills, But of course, the route always leads you to the valley where the campsites are located which means the next day you have to get back up those hills to continue your journey. But once you get past that first climb and you have all warmed up, the other climbs generally never seem that bad and you wonder why that first one even seemed so difficult.

All in all, that second day makes for a pleasant ride, no wild climbs or anything, except for that bumpy – I mean BUMPY – downhill ride just before reaching Saverne. It goes on and on, up and down. It looks gentle enough, riding through the grass on some trail pretending to be a single track, but is really not, being full of holes and rocks and stuff. It finally comes to an end after about 5 very long kilometers.

All we need to do right now, is follow the canal and we’ll arrive in Saverne, a small commune in the Bas Rhin about 45 kilometers west of Strasbourg, The campsite in Saverne turns out to be quite okay, if only that we get to taste the famous local Flammkuchen. For those of you who do not know what a Flammkuchen is, Wikipedia describes it as “composed of bread dough rolled out very thinly in the shape of a rectangle or oval, which is covered with  fromage blanc  or  crème fraîche , thin-sliced onions and  lardons  ».

Fed, and having had a good night’s rest, we leave Saverne early the next morning, And yet again, barely awake and the climbing begins up the hill overlooking Saverne. It’s steep and seems to go on forever. We will not make it. Sometimes those climbs are just too steep. Bikepushing it is…Let’s hope not all climbs will be like this today or we’ll never make it to Obernai, our next stop. Once on top of the hill, we continue our merry way, going up and down, but nothing out of the ordinary. We finally arrive at a little village where we have a short stop, having a Coca-Cola or two and filling up our water bottles. We still have a long way to go and my GPS says there is a serious climb coming up. One short climb out of the village, and we find ourselves on a nice smooth gravel road. But not for too long. We have to get over that mountain, the one that is laughing at us in a distance. He knows what’s coming. We don’t.

The sun is beating down when we start the climb out of the village. The sugar rush I got from the Coca-Cola’s I had at our previous stop has long since evaporated. I will not give in. I will not push that bike up that mountain side. It’s not even a gravel road, just some friendly tarmac. But damn, it’s steep. I just can’t. I’m out of breath and I just want to, need to stop. Let’s keep on going until that tree. There’s some welcome shade there. I will need to catch my breath, or I will surely get some heart attack and then I’ll be all over the news as one of those middle-aged men who thinks he could still cycle over those mountain passes as if he’s still only 20 years old! After catching my breath in the shade for just one minute, I want to set off again if it were not that my front tire is close to being completely flat, sealant bubbling out of the valve. This is not the first time it happens. I had it before. Just before leaving on the trip, I put some fresh sealant in both tires and somehow, ever since, sealant has been leaking out of the valve. Blub blub. Anyway, it can not be too bad. Let’s pump this tire up and get going. Better not keep Phil waiting too long.

The tire may be all pumped up but soon I find myself deflating again. Still one kilometer to go in the red segment of the Garmin climb. I can’t. This gradient must be 20% or something! I cycle 50 meters and hike 100 meters, cycle 25 meters and hike 200 meters. I’m walking up! Finally, I see the top of the hill approaching. There’s some kind of light in the darkness if only that the trees are giving way to the blue sky and I see Phil, lounging in the grass, nibbling on some snack! A pretty sight for my sore legs! I made it to the top, even if it was by foot for the last kilometer or so! Now it’s all downhill! But no, wait, what? The climb is not over? Going down, arriving in the little town on the other side of the hill, the climb goes on and hellishly steep as well. But I must do it! This is only the third day and I can hardly walk up every hillside. As often, the village square boasts a fountain. The soothing water on my bald head does wonders and that wet cap feels so refreshingly good! Let’s get going! It’s tarmac after all, not some rough and tough steep gravel road! Slowely but surely we make it. On top of the hill is some war memorial but that’s another 10 meters of climbing so I let it pass…I’ll come back another time, not! And from there on, it’s a nice route towards Obernai where we will meet up with Sofie, the third founding member of Wildhood, who will join us tomorrow for the fourth stage of the TMV.

As always, and almost immediately, a heavy climb greets us. Today, we are climbing the hill – is it a hill or is it a mountain? When does a hill become a mountain or is it a mountain becoming a hill? – up towards Mount Sainte-Odile, a 764-metre-high peak in the Vosges Mountains. The mountain is named after Saint Odile. It has a monastery/convent at its top called the  Hohenburg Abbey . I am cursing all the way up, quickly losing sight of Sofie and Phil. At that point, I am not even aware we are climbing towards the monastery, until I hear some bells. What’s a church doing here on this hill? And then it dawns on me that this must be Sainte-Odile? Mount Sainte-Odile somehow holds a special place for me. Me and my partner have been traveling to Italy since the mid-90’s, always taking the highway going from Luxembourg to Basel, going along Strasbourg. From this highway, Mount Sainte-Odile is easily visible and, at every trip, we are looking for it. It has somehow become a focal point of our trip but we have never stopped and went for a visit.

Phil is standing in the middle of the trail. The first flat, rear tire, but nothing a plug can’t fix, if we can figure out how exactly these plugs work. It’s all quite simple actually, just widen the hole a bit and push the plug in with the special needle that come with the plugs. It’s that simple and it works, at least most of the times. Sofie is ahead of us and we quickly join her at the crossroads of this gravel climb and the road up towards Mount Sainte-Odile. The climb up on the tarmac is that much easier and goes quite smoothly even, as you know, those climbs always seem to go on and on and on and never seem to end. But the reward comes once we arrive at the top of the hill, A small café has just opened, and my body is screaming for that sweet Coca-Cola! And a second one as well. After a short stroll around the monastery grounds, we set off again. The route takes us down and up into the forest again. Another climb follows and on top we have some lunch, just some sandwiches we bought that morning in some Obernai bakery.

After lunch we descend into a small town, having yet another Coca-Cola. We probably financially supported the Coca-Cola company during that trip. But that sugar is heavily needed as another long 6-kilometer climb is coming up and we better be prepared. The deal is: we meet again at the top of the hill. As per usual that day, I quickly lose sight again of Sofie and Phil, having to stop a couple of times, just to catch my breath, and not so much because the legs will not go up. I have started singing “Stayin’ Alive” on my climbs up, believing the beat can keep my heart and breath in synch! Luckily, I am all alone on those climbs so nobody can hear those false notes… But that song will now forever be linked to those Vosges mountains!

Once I got my breath back, I continue up and up and up. Every turn seems to open up yet another turn and even more climbing. And then my GPS says I should go straight ahead, up that steep rocky trail although the TMV-arrow is pointing due left. Let’s go left! That bushy trail seems to be flat and surely Sofie and Phil are following the TMV route. And oh yes, this smooth trail takes me straight towards the top of the hill – mountain? – where Sofie is lying in the grass, while Phil is munching on some energy snack! I join Sofie gasping for breath but happy to have made it without any hike-a-biking. Once rested and alive again, we continue through the rolling hills. Surely, all the climbs must be done for today. But no, there’s another one coming up towards the castle of Ortenbourg and then on to the castle of Ramstein.

The climb starts quite gradually, for once, but only until the tarmac trades it soft rolling underground for some serious gravel. But by now, we do know the drill. Just pedal, no looking back and focus on that one tree and then another, just like the old Dutch children’s song: “this fist on this fist (and so on) and so we go up”, And up we go towards the top of the mountain. The castle of Ortenbourg is a welcome stop and the highest point before we head down towards the little village of Scherwiller where we will set up camp tonight.

The other days are more of the delicious same. As you travel south on the TMV, the mountains get higher – they must be mountains right now? – the climbs get longer but not necessarily steeper. You curse, you laugh, you sweat, you’re hungry, you’re stinking but you’re living. We pass Le Grand Ballon, have a drink on some terrace on the Col du Bonhomme, have a quick descend from Lac Blanc to the village of Orbey only to cycle the 13 kilometers back up the next day towards Lac Noir.

The last day starts with a treacherous climb. It actually starts from the campsite – in front of my tent to be more exact – and does not stop for another 8 kilometers. I’m out of breath, have to stop a zillion times but those views! The landscape unfolds itself before your eyes. Cows clanging their bells while gently grazing on those mountain sides. A bird soaring above you in the sky. It surely must be Jonathan Livingston! And you yourself, you feel free as bird as well. This is the highest point we will be going on today. From here on, it’s not all downhill but we are slowly descending back towards civilization and Thann where the TMV and the Vosges Mountain Range ends. From Thann, we will cycle the flat trail – only 300 meters of elevation gain for a 200 km route –back to Wissembourg and back to real life. The Vosges Mountain have won my heart. I will forever cherish them and will never think of them as boring again.

Words: The Bearded Mamil

Photography: Philippe Michiels